Prayer. I'm learning.

I am unbelievably blessed with the most loving family anyone could ask for. I have even felt guilty after some conversations I have had with other people regarding their families. What did I do to deserve this?

Well, that is not really the point of this entry. It does have a lot to do with it but still not the main point. Let's get going here.

I moved to Nashville, TN in March of 2005. I thought it was just going to be for a short time while I worked on my music career. I think my family knew better. It was a bittersweet moment the night I headed out to Music City. I still remember all of the family going out to the driveway in front of my "stuffed to the rafters" Mitsubishi Galant and gathering around to pray with me. We cried. I mean cried. However, my family was also very excited for me to venture out of this athletic world in which I had lived in for so long and into this new music world which I've had a passion for since I wore diapers and danced in the closet where we kept our record player. This was the first time I had lived more than 30 minutes away from any family member. Nashville is 35 minutes away from Nampa, Idaho. Wait.  Did I say 35 minutes? I meant 2000 miles.

It's not that I couldn't live on my own, it's that I had to live on my own. No calling mom and dad for some extra money. No more taco Tuesdays. No more carpools to work which was only 5 minutes away in Idaho. I had to grow up (Jamie just said a very quiet "amen").

My dad would call to see how things were going. My mom would call every once in a while to see if I knew where the closest hospital was. My sister would call to see if I found a church yet. My brother would call my sister and Dad :)(I know you love me Torrey). They kept in touch.

When I called it was, "Hey dad, how do you fix this," or "mom, what does it mean if this hurts and I can't taste anything", or "hey dad...help." My calls were out of desperation or need or if I was lonely.

Six years later it is a different story. My dad and I talk all the time. I will call him on my drive home or on a lunch break or if I am home on Saturday while Jamie is at class (getting her masters in teaching...go Jamie!!!). Don't get me wrong, I still call him for advice all the time but now we just talk about life.  And now it's a two-way conversation. Lately I find myself making similar jokes or using the same analogies. The more we talk the more I understand life from his perspective. And the older I get the more I realize how much I do not know and how much he does know. He has just had so much more life experience and I trust him. We still debate certain issues like blended worship services vs two separate worship services, ya know...weird stuff that worship pastors talk about. It has gotten to a point now where sometimes I don't have to call my dad to ask him advice, I know what he would do because I know him, because I talk to him so much.

If only I was like that with my heavenly Father. I do go to Him in prayer a lot. It used to just be out of necessity or desperation. Now I try to talk with Him all the time but it is still typically from a selfish standpoint. I am getting to the point where I make decisions He would make because I just know Him. God has transforming power and He has been changing me, making me new. I used to only know about Him and I would do things because that is what I felt He wanted me to do. I am slowly understanding that the more I know Him, the more I become like Him. The more I become Christlike, the easier it is to make decisions and treat people the way Jesus would because I am like Him, because I am talking to Him more.

My sister used to tell me, "You are turning into dad!" and I would cringe. Now when she says it I smile and I think of my dad and the amazing man of God he is.

"We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life."

Romans 6:4

Integrity

I googled a definition for the word "integrity" (because that's what you do to find a definition these days) and came across three different definitions. The first is "an adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty." The second, "a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition." The third definition, and my favorite is "the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished."

This month in our Sunday services we are talking about spiritual disciplines. The sermon series is entitled "26.2 Next Steps." This is in reference to the length of and the training for a full marathon. While preparing the music and other elements for our worship gatherings I have been including songs and passages of scripture on running and discipline. As the worship leader, my desire is not only to help facilitate an atmosphere of genuine community worship to God, but to support the theme of pastor's message. My hope is that our doors would be filled with people leaving our worship services (at the conclusion of the service of course:)) feeling encouraged, enlightened, and challenged. Well...it worked. I have been challenged.


I have never liked the stage. In fact, I might say I hate to be on stage. When I was little I used to participate (I was forced) in talent competitions. Who would force an innocent little huge boy onto a stage in front of a million people at our mid sized church in Moscow Idaho to sing "Our God is an Awesome God" and play his trumpet on the 2nd verse and bridge??? Surely my loving parents would never do something like that! It was probably my great Aunt, you know, the one with the huge glasses that always pinches your cheeks way too hard and makes you give her "SUGAR"?!? Ya, it had to be her. Anyway, I really hate to be on stage. When I have to be on stage in a competitive setting my knees knock and I get dry in the mouth and my hands get cold and clammy. When I am on a stage leading in worship my entire countenance changes. I feel as though I am in a state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.


So, how were you challenged Trevor?


Fantastic question. I'm so glad you asked. Well, pastor has been talking about spiritual disciplines and one of the analogies is training for a marathon. I don't think anyone would argue with me if I said it is impossible to run a full marathon under 3 and 1/2 hours without some intensive training. You may not run 26.2 miles every weekend but you certainly can't get away with 5 minutes on a treadmill two times a month and expect to make it very far.


How can I think I am spiritually disciplined just because I go to church Sunday morning, I do some service planning throughout the week, I maybe read an occasional excerpt from a devotional, and I pray before meals? When I am on stage leading in the music portion of our worship services I am honestly and completely genuine. But that is only one aspect of my life. The title of my entire blog is "Life=Worship" and I truly believe that. Worship is giving something worth and whether or not we choose to realize this fact, we are, every moment of every day, giving worth to something or someone. This sermon series is making me ask some tough questions.

Is playing angry birds on my iphone helping me become more like Christ?
Is watching 7 episodes of Man vs. Wild strengthening my relationship with God?
Will I gain deep wisdom and knowledge about the life of Jesus by beating 007 Goldeneye for wii in expert mode?

I think we all know the answers to those questions. I'm not going to say that all of those things are evil. I'll let my wife do that. What I am saying is that I make time for those things and sometimes those things are ok. If I have a free second of the day I can't wait to try and get three stars on level 12-1 in angry birds. What we would it be like if I couldn't wait to finish 2nd John because of the amazing insight I am receiving? What if the guys got together and instead of talking about who is going to win the super bowl we discussed how to be better husbands and what the bible has to say about that? Instead of giving worth to trivial pursuits, what if I forced myself to be spiritually disciplined?  I'll bet that discipline would turn into a passion.

The third of the ten commandments says, "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name." Deuteronomy 5:11. Many people understand that passage as referring to speech. When I was younger I used to think that. It didn't matter if you were a Christian or not, if you said "gosh dangit"but in the rated R form that meant you just took the Lord's name in vain. Through reading and conversations with my dad I have come to a different understanding. This commandment really has to do with integrity and honesty. Be who you say you are. If you proclaim to be a Christian then you are taking on the name of Christ. If you don't strive to live like Christ then you are taking His name in vain. Websters defines vain as having no meaning or likelihood of fulfillment. How can I be Christlike if I do not know about Christ and more importantly if I DO NOT KNOW HIM?


Now that I think about it, it was my parents who pushed me to do those competitions, to play the piano and the trumpet, and to sing in front of people even though it was out of my comfort zone. I'm so glad they did because now that the competitive setting has changed to one of worship, that discipline has become a passion for me. My challenge is to bring that passion into every aspect of my life.

Well, at least one person is getting something from those Sunday morning services:)